He said “I could just take the safety
off during one of our training excises,
but I don’t. I know better than that.
Anyways, I miss you. Can’t wait to be back.”
He was proud to be part of the Army,
but other times he was under his own attack.
When she was sent to the psych ward
everyone was surprised,
but you wouldn’t have been had you looked her in the eye.
She didn’t try but she had a plan.
I think that is enough of a fucking attempt.
She said at least once a month I sit and think
that it would be much easier than some of this shit,
between school and money, and being used and abused,
I could pop a couple pills,
it’s the easiest route.
Over a drink that he casually sips,
he slips in the conversation that this weeks been shit
He says, my mind is slipping, and I got to get away,
so I’m going home to get some space.
Three days later, they called to say
he was hanging from a tree in his favorite place.
Jay wrote on Facebook,
I need a friend now.
A blatant call for help, but none was found.
He said baby’s momma has got me so low,
and he said if I did it now, then the baby’d never know.
There was a little girl barely sixteen years old.
I held my mom’s hand at her funeral.
Is it selfish of me to beg you live?
There’s days I wake up and can’t take this shit,
so why would I ask that you deal with it?
Is it selfish of you to take your own life?
Every day is the answer when we wonder why.
Why does everyone want to die?
You tell me, world, how did it come to this?